A pirate looks at twenty-four

Reminiscent…

I sat on the back porch with my guitar, hanging out with my old friend 'Jimmy'... Buffett that is...

He wrote a little song called, "A Pirate looks at Forty". Catchy little tune, about how time just slips away - often leaving one wondering, just where did it all go?
I sat back reflecting on the past year's events, calculating the angle and speed of my travels... hoping to predict my new destination... yet, that still remains a mystery. Today I am in Utah, tomorrow the same... the next Virginia, then Georgia, then Alabama, then... who knows.

I have soaked up Texas sunsets and Utah snowfalls - Alabama breakfasts, and Georgia smiles. They all feed my roots, yet those roots have not found a good hold anywhere. I just keep blowing down the road. Soon to be twenty-four, I seem no closer to anything permanent. "My wheels just keep pouring out the miles."
I don't really know my intention any more. For writing this, or for my purpose in general... I guess I just felt like throwing out a line :)

"I am just a dreamer, but I gotta keep believing, that someday things will go my way... just running from the devil, I have one foot on the pedal, and the other one is just laid up in the grave... I am just an old dancehall dreamer, living my life in the past - I keep holding on to dreams and them slow moving trains, and I don't know how long I can last..."

-- Pat Green


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I wrote this around the time I arrived in Utah -- a place I predicted to be my saving grace. This place turned out to be as equally depressing as the predicament I had in Texas. I have since learned it is the lack of love, the lack of touch, the lack of all things familiar that can make such a beautiful place seem like a living hell. I have learned this because I was forced to face it - by one of my greatest friends (Lauren :)). I also had a little help from those friends here I often discount for their joking opinions. If I had posted this to myspace, you could call that last line an apology to those I so often seek to avoid. I complained, they presented a solution, and I shunned them. It's not easy to find love when you are always at work, or worried about being deployed for months on end. They are my coworkers, and I am starting to realize they actually cared ---

I am twenty-four now, and I still feel like a pirate. Maybe not a pirate, but at least something equally adventurous...

God knows what's next...